If you hear something you don’t like (perhaps a friend smokes marijuana or your teen confesses to trying beer at a party), it is important not to react in any way that cuts off further discussion. If he seems defensive or assures you that he doesn’t know anyone who uses drugs, ask him why he thinks people use them.

Discuss whether the risks are worth what people may get out of using them and whether he thinks it would be worth it to take the risks. Even without addiction, experimentation is too great a gamble. One bad experience, such as being high and misjudging how long it takes to cross a busy street, can change or end a life forever. If something interrupts your conversation, pick it up the next chance you get.

What happens if you suspect that your teen is already using alcohol and drugs? What do you say to them? The conversation is the same: parents need to tell their kids that drug and alcohol use by teens is not allowed in your family. The issue won't go away until you do something. You will simply have to acknowledge that your teen has a problem — your teen is using drugs and that won't get any better until you take action on your teen's behalf. It is OK to ask for help. In fact, getting help may make it easier for you to have the conversation.

Practice the conversation ahead of time. You may have to have a couple of “practice runs.” These conversations are not easy but they are worthwhile. Talking it over with your spouse/partner beforehand will help you keep a level head and speak to the issue. (Review some key talking points and practice these sample conversations beforehand.)

Tell yourself that you won’t “lose it” with your teen. Anger and hostility won’t get you anywhere in this conversation.  Stay as calm as possible. Remember, you are the parent and you are in charge. Be kind, simple, and direct in your statements to your teen. Above all, remember to tell your teen that you love him or her! The conversation will not be perfect — no conversation ever is. Know that you are doing the right thing for your teen. That’s what matters most!

Source: The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign's Behavior Change Expert Panel at www.theantidrug.com